Tired of the drama?

We have all been there.  We try really hard to have a healthy work environment, social circle, and family relationships but every once in a while we get sucked into the “drama” we would rather avoid.

Here are some warning signs that you are entering unsafe territory.

1. There is a person in your group that is always trying to one-up you.  They are not happy when others succeed and are constantly trying to make you feel like they are superior to you.
2. Someone comes to you with a “problem” they are having with another person in your office and is not willing to go to that person directly. This gossip-fueled method is called “triangulation”.  Instead of working together to resolve the conflict with the other person, they just talk bad about them and pit people against them.  I have seen this happen and it can destroy a workplace culture or a family dynamic.
3. Someone in the group is not vulnerable. This person does not want anyone to really know them and is more concerned with image or status than the health of the social group. When confronted, this person will not admit any wrong doing so true fellowship and resolution can not happen.
4. When a person is controlling and will not allow you to have close friendships with other people, the definite result will be unneeded drama. You should be allowed to have many friends and entertain lots of different people. If you feel like your friend will not share you with others, this is a sign that they will cause drama.

Can people change?

Yes.  Absolutely. That is what the grace of God is all about.  There have been times when looking back, I have been the cause of the “drama”.  They key to all this is that when confronted, does the person accept responsibility and want to change?  If so, you know that the relationship has the potential to be healthy.  On the flip side, if the person denies responsibility and is unwilling to change, then it might be time to put some space in the friendship.  How do you do that?  With truth and love. It is your fault if you keep allowing the same person to mistreat you. You have to make changes, set boundaries and enforce rules with consequences to keep your relationship circles healthy.

I am devoting time each week to learning how to have healthier relationships.  I’m listening to podcasts, reading and implementing what I am learning.  It takes LOTS of work to change years of wrong patterns and thinking but I am seeing positive change and I am becoming a stronger person. I would suggest you check out Boundaries.me if you would like more involved training in growing in your relationship health.

Let’s all work on keeping our circles positive, healthy and drama-free!