Time Out

So we have instituted Time Out with Jessie.  The Time Out place is on the first step in our foyer.  We put Jessie there for whining and saying “no” to us.  I know you are thinking,  “Yeah, right.  She is a spoiled Grandchild and there is no way you are putting her in time out”.  Believe me, it takes a lot of effort and energy to be consistent.  It is much easier to just give in to what she wants.  But we are trying!

Have you ever felt like you have been put in time out?  Maybe your prayers are not being answered how you thought they would.  Maybe you have been diagnosed with an illness.  Maybe you have been relocated against your will.

Several times in my life, I have been stopped from doing what I wanted to do.  It is frustrating.  The hardest one was when I realized that is was God’s will for us to move to Grayson to start the church.  We spent a couple of weeks making the move from Texas and after seeing me cry a few times, 6 year old Joelan asked, “Mommy, are you not having any fun with us?”.   I told him that I was but that I missed Grammy!

Looking back, it was the best move for us and I am so thankful God directed us to start Graystone Church.  I am trying to learn not to fight Him when he redirects my steps.  He knows what is best.

I am hoping that Jessie gets on board with the Time Out before it wears me out……

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11

Bathing Suit Blahs

Ok, so today our neighborhood pool opens.  We are all pumped about that and will be there as soon as we can this morning.  Beginning of the summer preparations have been made.  We have swim diapers, plenty of sunscreen, beach towels ready and the pool bag packed.  So why am I dreading this day?

Putting on that bathing suit for the first time each year puts me in a bad mood.  See I am tall and with the right clothes can hide that extra 5 pounds I am carrying around but you can’t hide in a bathing suit.

So I am going to pull it all together today and have fun at the pool.  I am hoping that with all the excitement I forget that I am self conscious.

See ya at the pool!

I thought we agreed you would stay in kindergarten forever?

Well today is 5th grade graduation for my middle child, Julia.  It wasn’t supposed to go by this fast.  She and I made a pact that she would stay 5 years old and never leave kindergarten.  What happened?

Julia announced to the family last week that the middle child is always the best one.  I don’t know if that is true for all families, but in her case, she may be right.  She has always been the easiest and sweetest little girl.  As soon as she was born I looked at her and called her “Angel”.  As an infant she slept all of the time.  We would have to go in her room in the morning to see if she was awake because she didn’t make a peep.  At 26 months she began changing her own diapers so Jonathan encouraged me to go ahead and potty train her.

So we will attend her 5th grade graduation today.  I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman she is becoming.  She loves God, her family, and her friends and seems to put others before herself time and time again.  I recently told my bible study group that I wish I was more like her.

I love you, Julia!

So I will be thinking of all of you who have children graduating….either from PreK, Elementary school or High School.  We have a mixture of emotions as we reminisce of the days gone by with our children.  Let’s try to enjoy each day the Lord gives us.

This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Mommy-itis

So Jessie has a bad case of Mommy-itis.  She has had it for almost a year now.  If I am in the room, she whines for me to hold her.  Johnny tries to hand her the movie she is asking for and she screams, “Mommy get it”.  Joelan wants to hug her good bye and she turns her head and reaches for me. When Julia, who plays with her more than anyone, tries to take her from me, she freaks out.   As flattered as I am that she would prefer me to anyone else in the world, I am exhausted!

So it seems I have one of two choices.  I can get frustrated and lose my patience.  Or I can just relax and realize that this too shall pass.

See I have been through this two times before.  Both of the other kids had a bout with Mommy-itis and recovered in due time.  I remember one of Joelan’s first sentences was, “Where did Mommy go?”.   Now he seems to prefer hanging out with his dad or his buddies a lot more than he does me.

Hopefully we will be through with this stage soon.  I could get a lot more accomplished each day if I didn’t have a 30 pound 2 year old on my hip.  But for now, I will enjoy being loved and wanted.

Mommy Guilt Part Two

Yesterday at a baby shower I was talking to a first time mom of a ten week old baby about adjusting to life as a mom.  Memories of past guilts and failures flooded my mind.  Most of them have to do with other people’s opinions of me!

I felt guilty when I decided not to breast feed.  I gave up breast feeding when Joelan was about 5 weeks old and I had TREMENDOUS guilt.  Didn’t Supermom breast feed until the first birthday?  I had to constantly tell myself that I was bottle fed and I turned out ok. My main concern was that others would think I was not a good mom if I fed him formula.

I was so worried about other people’s opinions that I second-guessed myself about everything.  Why was I so insecure?  I am typically a very self confident person but becoming a mother changed me.

I felt like if I was not a full time stay-at-home mom, that I was not being a good mom.  I tried hard to do the best job at home with the kids, but I really longed to do something outside of the home part time.  Did that mean that I didn’t love my kids?  I wrestled with it BIG TIME.

I failed at potty training my first child.  When he was 3, I sent Julia to be with my mom for a couple of days, and I tried the “Potty Train your Child in 3 days” method.  Didn’t work.  6 months later, at my wits end, I gave up.  I realized that most kids don’t go to kindergarten with diapers, so I told my very articulate 3 and a half year old that when he was ready, he could use the potty and for now, he could have a pull up.  Much to my surprise, he decided the next week to wear underwear and use the potty….UGH….I realized then that I couldn’t control everything.

Life totally changes when the baby comes.  I totally changed.  It took me a while to get myself back.  I am thankful for my husband who walked this journey patiently with me.   I am still trying to figure out exactly who I am by walking in the power of God’s Spirit….but without all that guilt.

Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.  Galatians 5:25

Drive Time

Leaving church on Sunday, Joelan and I had a great discussion about his relationship with Christ.  We were alone in the car and had just left the 11:00 service where his best buddy Dustin had gotten baptized.  I decided to use the moment to talk with Joelan about his baptism 5 years ago.   I asked him if he thought he knew when he was 8 years old what baptism was about and whether or not he truly understood what it meant to follow Christ. We talked about the gospel and how it changes peoples lives.

That afternoon on the way to a party, Joelan and I talked about nature and how it is obvious that we have a Creator.  I asked him what he had learned in school this year about creation and evolution and we had a great discussion about how to process what he is learning in school.

Joelan will be driving in 3 years (yikes) so I don’t know how many more of these drive times we will have together but I am going to try to make it a point to make the most of them.

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. ⁸ Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. ⁹ Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  Deuteronomy 6:5-9

The Fairytale

In the middle of one of the few “fights” Jonathan and I got into when we were dating, Jonathan looked at me and said, “What do you want?”  And I answered, “The fairytale”.  His response to me was, “You have it but you are turning it into a nightmare!”  We still joke about that today.  Isn’t that what every girls wants?  When I was 22 and dating Jonathan, the fairytale I was looking for consisted of fun dates, love notes and flowers, and late night phone conversations.  I had butterflies in my stomach every time I was near him.

Today is our 15th wedding anniversary.  We have experienced 8 moves, 3 kids and 2 Master’s Degrees.  We have planted 2 churches and coached 18 baseball/softball teams.  We have had our share of heartaches.  Somehow, the fairytale has taken on a whole new meaning over the last 15 years.

The fairytale is watching Survivor Heroes vs. Villains that we have on DVR on Friday nights after the kids are in bed.

The fairytale is the give and take that goes on when we look at the calendar and realize there is no way we can cram it all in.

The fairytale is walks in the neighborhood, pushing the stroller, talking about life.

The fairytale is the “free” tennis lesson before my next match.

The fairytale is watching Jonathan and the kids play wiffle ball in the backyard.

The fairytale is laying in bed at night talking about all the cute things the kids said or did that day.

The fairytale is Jonathan telling me 3 days after surgery that he loves me even more with the scar on my face.

The fairytale is having my best friend to share life with.

No, it isn’t what I dreamed it would be…it is better!  Love you, Johnny!

How dare she get sick?

We all know how it starts.  The baby gets a little whinny.  Then she feels a little bit warm.  Then she falls asleep during the ball game.  Then when putting her in the car, she pukes all over everything (including you).

So that is how my weekend started on Friday.  I restlessly slept that night, checking on Jessie a time or two, worried that she would get sicker during the night.  During this fitful night of sleep, I devised my plan.  I will take both girls to the doctor as soon as I wake up.  I can’t miss church.  It’s Baptism Sunday which is the best service of the year.  I don’t want to miss the birthday party on Sunday afternoon.  This is not the best week for them to get sick.  I have 3 events at the schools that I am in charge of!

So I took the girls to the doctor, got them on antibiotics anticipating they would be perfectly fine on Sunday morning. Wrong….thankfully Brandi came over after the 1st service so I could attend the second one.  I just knew, though, that they were on their way to wellness and that I would be able to work on Monday.  Wrong again.  Julia went back to school but Jessie seemed worse so I took her back to the doctor.  Another 3 days until I can go to work.

But I had my plans.  I missed playgroup with my favorite friends.  I missed a tennis match.  I had to rearrange my work schedule. I,I,I….

When will I ever learn to just relax and accept what life brings my way?  Life would be much easier if I would just take each day as its comes, knowing that God is in control.

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.  Proverbs 19:21

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.  Proverbs 16:9

So I was a little fired up….

Some of you may know that I can be a hot head.  I try to cover it up with smiles and a lot of prayer but my temper can get the best of me every once in a while.

Joelan came home from school Friday with bad news for me.  He had forgotten to do his homework the night before and the teacher took 2 grades on it so in other words, he got 2 zeros.  I was disappointed in him but this is not typical behavior so we talked and decided he would just do his best from now on.  A couple of minutes later, the teacher emailed the grades and his grade went from a 90 “A” to a 61 “U”.  CRAZY.  Ok, so now, I was fired up.  But it was Friday at 4:45.  No one answered the phone at school and no response to my email.  I told Joelan I would not rest until this was fixed.  A “U” for the nine weeks was TOTALLY UNREASONABLE.

Needless to say I stewed over this all weekend.  I played every scenario in my mind.  I kept telling myself there was nothing to do about it so I would pray.  I even dreamed about it!

I was able to talk with the teacher on Monday and we resolved the issue.  Joelan deserved the zero for the grade but not a “U” for the nine weeks.  I appreciate her willingness to talk with me and come up with a solution.

When Joelan got home, he told me that she was going to let the class redo the assignment for 10 points off.  Then he said, “The power of moms”.  I immediately thought about the children who, for one reason or another, do not have parents that are able to be advocates for them.  I thought about the kids who we are tutoring at the Hope Center and because their parents do not speak English yet, they are not able to accomplish what I could in regards to their children’s education.

So to whom much is given, much is required.  Who will you be an advocate for?  Are you pursuing ways to help out those in need?

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”  James 1:27

BFFs

Moving to Georgia almost 7 years ago was very hard on me.  We had moved 7 times in 8 years of marriage and I was so tired of starting over.  I didn’t want to exert the energy it took to make new friends.  I knew what it would take to make a true friend and I couldn’t do it.  I was wiped out emotionally from leaving the last friends.

The first year we moved here, God kept putting two different people right in front of me.  I would run into them everywhere I went.  I finally realized what God was trying to do and I gave in.  I am so glad I did.  This is what I have learned over the past 7 years about true friends.

A BFF gives emotional support when you are down and out.

A BFF listens when you just need someone to dump on.

A BFF laughs with you when you’re happy and cries when you are sad (Romans 12:15).

A BFF reminds you of the truth of God’s word when the world doesn’t make sense.

A BFF lets you vent.

A BFF lets you speak well of your kids and doesn’t think you are bragging (or if she does she would never say it).

A BFF comes to your rescue if you are not going to make it home in time for the bus.

A BFF brings the bag of ice to the birthday party.

A BFF prays with you when there are no words to describe the hurt you feel inside.

A BFF knows just what to say when you have a 5 inch scar on your face.

A BFF never lets you drift too far from the Lord.  She reminds you to pursue Christ.

One of my BFFs has an 8 year old son who was baptized yesterday.  We have prayed for her son together for the past 6 and a half years and we have shared in the good and the bad times.  I have marveled at the way she has parented him and I see Jesus radiate in that young man.  I love seeing her joy as she celebrates his new life in Christ.

What I would have missed out on if I had closed myself up to the friends God kept sending my way.  I pray that my eyes and heart are always open to the people God puts in my path.  He knows what life is going to send me and He knows who I need to get me through it.

Friends come and friends go,  but a true friend sticks by you like family. Proverbs 18:24