Sam Chand calls it the “Hallway”.  Beth Moore calls it the “Middle”.  Lysa TerKeurst describes it as “ In Between  Two Gardens.” Whatever you want to call it, I have come to a new understanding of what it means to walk with God in extremely difficult circumstances.  These could be a diagnosis, an infidelity, a death, financial crisis, a betrayal, a rebellious child or an unexpected job loss.

What does it feel like to be in the “Space Between”?

For me, it felt surreal at first.  I felt sick to my stomach and scared.  Then I was angry.  Probably the maddest I have been in my life.  I literally screamed and shouted in my empty living room.

The next few days were long. Each minute my heart seemed to break a little more.  I had to keep going and appear strong because so many were depending on me.

One evening I asked a friend how I was going to survive this?  The answer I got was honesty from his soul, “I’m not sure.”

So that is where I spent the next several months.  “I am not sure” seemed to be the answer to many of my questions.  I don’t like that answer and I want to know NOW what God is doing and how He is going to work it all out.

Because “I am not sure” was the answer to most questions,

  • I became insecure.  I kept looking for something to stand on.  I wanted a solid ground and stable footing.
  • I tried to take control.  My knee-jerk reaction was to plan how God was going to work it all out for good.
  • I cried.  A lot. And because typically  I am not a crier, this felt very scary.
  • I felt empty inside.  Like the air had been taken out of a newly inflated helium balloon.  And it happened all at once.  With the prick of a pin, I popped.

I felt this way for many months.  That is the “Middle.”  The “Space Between” the horrendous circumstance and its resolution.

The Bible tells us how His people have spent time in this place throughout history.  Consider Moses in the wilderness waiting to enter the Promised land and also Noah in the time between building the ark and the Lord sending the flood.   Think about Sarah.  She is infertile.  Then God promises her a child.  Not just one but many.  Then she has this incredibly long and hard waiting period.  This was her “Middle”.  The time when you are waiting for God to come through.

It may sound trite but at the lowest, God gave me the grace to look in and to look up.  For years I had felt God leading me into a deeper relationship with Him but I was content.  It was unnecessary.  Looking back, I should have obeyed the first time He asked me to give him more of my heart.

What is God doing in the dark, lonely places?

  • He is reaffirming His love.  Over and over in Scripture He tells us that His love is unfailing.  That He is our Rock and Refuge and ever-present help in times of trouble.
  • He is refining.  There are a lot of places in our hearts that need to be softened and strengthened.
  • He is reaffirming His call on our lives.  I remember a specific moment in the “space between” when He impressed on my heart and soul that He still wanted me to serve Him at Graystone church.  It was a little glimpse into what is to come.
  • He is drawing us into a relationship with Him that is so precious.

My friend, if you have found yourself stuck in the middle, embrace this time and trust that He is in it with you.  Thank Him for His promises to sustain you.  Never forget that what He is doing in this season is truly remarkable.

8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

 

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